You answer my questions, now

September 9, 2008 at 9:30 pm (anxiety, cats, Political-ish)

There have been a lot of things happening lately that confuse me and Google is not giving me the answers I want. So, dear readers (all five of you), please answer the following:

1. Even though it is quite obvious that Sarah Palin is about as prepared to take second seat in the White House as I am prepared to perform nuclear fission, why are McCains’ approval ratings going up? Is Sarah Palin made of chocolate and faeries? Or is the majority of this country as stupid as I fear?

2. A reporter recently quit from my paper and her job is about to be up for grabs. My co-workers are telling me to apply for this position but I am conflicted. Should I take a reporter job for about the same pay as I’m making now, longer hours and a guarantee that I will probably cry everyday to expand my resume, or should I stay where I am, a lowly newsroom assistant, with less stress and crying but more boredom?

3.I just got a new apartment with wood floors, which are fantastic. However, every time I walk down the hallway I see a tumbleweed of cat hair go rolling across my path. Is there a solution to this problem that doesn’t involve me shaving my cats (although I am willing to do that if it comes down to it)?

Thank you for your time and quick attention to this matter. I’ll be waiting. Patiently.


  1. magn0lia said,

    I answer your command.
    1. Having just spent a week in the heart of “war is great business” land, I have a lot of fears about how most of the country sees things. And they also don’t seem to pick up on any news stories about how parts of those speeches were lies. Scary stuff.
    2. My vote is for less crying. A job is a lot of your life to spend unhappy.
    3. For me the only solution was daily vacumming. I got a cordless deal that could fold very flat to get under the furniture and would whoosh around the apartment every morning while I was still in the waiting-for-coffee-to-kick-in haze. Bummer of an answer and I wish I had figured out some self-combing device for the cats to use instead!

  2. storymakerupper said,

    Thank you Magn0lia for your speedy response. Where in the land of war business were you? And are you referring to one of those robotic zoomba type vacuums?

  3. stoogepie said,

    1. The country is far more stoopid than you ever imagined possible. Smart people just can’t fathom how stoopid the rest of us are. We are dumber than a bag of testicles.

    2. More crying. Always choose more crying. Not for your resume, because who cares? In this case, choose crying because being a reporter sounds sexy, like being a private detective or a fundamentalist Alaskan hockey mom. As far as the crying is concerned, as Nietzsche said, that which doesn’t kill you makes you suicidal.

    3. The solution I have discovered is to get used to kitty tumbleweed. It can be fun to play with while under the influence.

  4. Kiala said,

    Get the cone. It’s like a dustbuster but sexier.

    And also you should embrace the sight of the furbleweeds because otherwise it would just be mashed up in your carpet which is disgusting.

  5. Kiala said,



    I am a GENIUS.

  6. Zoe Trope said,

    I suggest the Furminator.

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