A new year, a new opportunity for procrastination

January 6, 2009 at 1:19 am (ch-ch-ch-changes, Cooking, My house is nuclear)

I made a lot of resolutions as a drunkenly slurred my way into 2008. So I was curious about which ones actually worked out.

-Write more letters: That’s a big fail. The only letters I mailed were the kind that have my hard-earned, cold hard cash in them, sent to various evil bill collectors.

-Write more stories: Another fail. My Christmas present to Jacob was a short story, but in typical me fashion it wasn’t ready yet. So I am writing it in serial form, which he seems to enjoy.

-Eat in more:  I…er…uh…*guiltily stashes hundreds of La Bonita receipts into her bra*

-Hang up paintings: DONE. That’s Nathalie 1, 2008 zero.

-Hang up laundry: I nearly impaled my foot this morning on rhinestones from my holiday party dress that is still on the floor so….no.

This year I have one resolution: to pay off any and all credit card debt.  As much as I would love to think that THIS is the year that I will start running everyday, stop eating all the baked good I can get my sticky fingers on and solve this whole economic crisis thingy, I am a realist. And a procrastinator.

What are your resolutions?

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The Fairest of the Seasons

October 14, 2008 at 10:25 pm (ch-ch-ch-changes, Cooking, Fall)

I love fall. Even though I grew up in Las Vegas, where fall is less like a season and more like “that day I wasn’t sweating between summer and winter.”

But Oregon has seasons. And it does fall like no other. The leaves are changing, so looking at every tree on my block is like seeing them born anew. The air is crispy and you have to wear a scarf and stockings. There are so many gourds and pumpkins it looks like the city has a bad case of warts. Jack-o-lanterns smirk from darkened windows and the smell of fireplaces being lit for the first time since February fills the air. I made two sweet potato pies this weekend, and last night, a pot of butternut squash soup.

The seasons are changing, and I hope I am too. I’ve been more down the past few months than I have in a long time. I feel like I don’t know who I am, or what I want, or what I want to do. I’ve realized that love, for me anyway, isn’t a dichotomy. That childhood friendships dissipate and you have to foster new ones. That my parents are not invincible. That I can’t beat myself up for every little mistake. That my mood affects those around me. That being alone isn’t always the best solution; I have to let other people into my space, even if its messy and smells like dirty laundry.

Tonight, I’m making pumpkin soup. We’re going to eat it and snuggle under wool blankets because its too early (and too expensive) to turn on the heater. I’m going to read ghost stories and get goosepimples up and down my body. I’m going to buy Halloween candy and make a costume. I’m going to listen to Nico and Bob Dylan. Because its fall, and the change it brings is beautiful.

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