This is why I don’t garden

October 24, 2008 at 6:48 pm (environmental blah blah, Movies, Scary movies)

Hey! Remember that one time when I started this blog and I said to myself, “Self, we are going to write¬† witty, intelligent things about horror movies and books because we love them and we are going to do it every day because thats what writers do,” and then, you know, I didn’t. But, today I will because I recently saw maybe the grossest movie I’ve ever seen. Its about plants. Evil ones.

The Ruins stars Jena Malone, the chick from Donnie Darko who my boyfriend has a major crush on and I don’t understand why because I AM THE ONLY GIRL HE FINDS ATTRACTIVE, so as soon as this thing started I kept shouting “That bitch from Donnie Darko is gonna die!” Not that I’m jealous or anything. Anywho, Jena and some other attractive twenty-somethings are in Mexico getting their drink on when they meet this German guy who invites them to check out some secret ruins. So the kids down some more Cabo Wabo tequila and head out to get some “culture.” And they go to the ruins, and things are totally bitchin until these natives come out of the jungle and start pointing guns at them. Of course, no one speaks the language, and after one of their buds get SHOT IN THE CHEST, the kids retreat onto the ruins, to regroup and plan how the hell they will get out of there.

Now it gets weird. There’s a whole lot of this one kind of vine on these ruins. And like any good survivor, everyone starts touching the vines. Which proceed to give everyone a wicked, painful rash. They also hear the dead guys cell phone ringing from within the ruins, so they decide to go and investigate. After one person paralyzes himself falling down the shaft, another girl and then another is sent down to investigate and get the phone.

But its not the phone ringing. Its the plant. Its mimicing the ring of a phone to lure them down there, into the dark. And when she reaches out to touch it, the vine grabs her hand. It dawns on the group that the villagers didn’t want to take them hostage, they were quarantining them because they had touched the plant.

I don’t want to ruin anything for you, but I didn’t open my eyes during the second half of this thing because it was so gross. And it really makes me think twice when I walk past creeping vines on my way to work in the morning. When the fog is right, and the wind is chilled, I can almost hear them rustling, waiting.

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The ‘greening’ of sexism

August 27, 2008 at 7:27 pm (environmental blah blah, sexism ain't sexy)

I am enraged this morning and its not because the Fred Meyer pharmacy doesn’t open until 9 a.m. and I needed my mood-altering medication before my job starts at 8:30 a.m. (although that may have something to do with the rage).

It is because I saw this on the Mercury’s blog this morning. Apparently last year cosmetic company LUSH held a ‘protest’ in which employees at its stores spent the day in the nude besides an apron to promote the company’s use of ‘naked’ or package free, 100 percent vegetarian products. The company’s head honchos say this is a way to ‘educate’ businesses and consumers of the toll that excess packaging takes on the environment. LUSH on Northwest 23rd will reprise the protest today at noon.

*head explodes*

Question: Why do these so-called ethical companies feel it’s OK to exploit women’s bodies but its not OK to exploit farm animals or trees?

And some of you may say that the men at the stores will be naked too (equality?), but when was the last time you saw a dude working a LUSH? This company is not trying to inform people people about using less packaging, they are using female nudity to draw customers into its stores to buy $15 bath bombs. If they really wanted to raise environmental consciousness, they could do it without the naked babes by holding a seminar in their stores.

Reading this gave me the sick feeling in my stomach, like when I see those giant PETA billboards with the naked women panting in cages.

I know the employees only do this on a voluntary basis and I know many young women working in these stores will decide to de-panty and throw on an apron and it won’t affect their life one way or the other. But to me, this is blatant objectification. And using this tactic in the workplace, a place where it is already difficult for women to navigate without being judged solely on their ‘assets’, is more ethically irresponsible than slapping plastic wrap on vegetables at a grocery store. LUSH has placed a green film over sexism and calls it consciousness raising. This is unacceptable and I encourage you if you agree to write to them and tell them so, as I will be doing today.

LUSH Fresh Handmade Cosmetics
8365 Ontario Street – Unit 120
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canada V5X 3E8

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9 to 5

August 27, 2008 at 12:00 am (environmental blah blah, Geeking out, gin and tonics, Harry Potter, Magic, why I shouldn't drink, why Jacob didn't have sex with me last night)

So I am one week into my new home and three books into the Harry Potter series, which is slowly turning me into even more of a geek than I was previously. Hippogryphs? Unicorns? Basilisks? Swoon! It doesn’t help that one of our good friends Nelson is staying with us currently, and so Jacob and Nelson have covered my new office in Magic cards (thats Magic: The Gathering, not enchanted cards, not nearly as cool as it sounds) and we also found a role playing game circa 1980 called ‘Top Secret‘ where you pretend to be a secret agent a la James Bond.

Wait where are you going? Ok, ok, enough with the nerd-talk.

So, one cool, hip thing I did this weekend was go out to dinner at Night Light with the lovely Kiala and the dashing Dane and the magnificent Meagn (Sorry Kiala, I couldn’t think of a ‘k’ word for beautiful) and then we went to Chopsticks and watched people sing karaoke. It was my first time at a karaoke bar and I was all prepped to sing Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 when some other broad got to it before me. But thats ok because Kiala and I danced to 9 to 5 and I was probably too drunk to remember the words anyway. Thats right, internet. I had FOUR gin and tonics which is a lot for me, trust me. I then left Chopsticks and made Jacob pick me up and bring me back to a friends house. And then I announced to the room that I could out smoke the shit out of everyone out drink the shit out of everyone and passed out on my friend’s couch. ¬† And I felt fine the next day. But then on Monday I had some sort of evil, delayed hangover from Saturday and wanted to die. Has that ever happened to you? It was so unfair.

Oh, and I work at a newspaper that covers a lot of ‘green’ building and ‘green’ architecture and ‘green streets’ and green, green, green green. Could someone PLEASE come up with another way to say ‘green’ or ‘sustainable’ before I throw myself off of an Eco-roof? Suggestions can be left in the comments.

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