9 to 5

August 27, 2008 at 12:00 am (environmental blah blah, Geeking out, gin and tonics, Harry Potter, Magic, why I shouldn't drink, why Jacob didn't have sex with me last night)

So I am one week into my new home and three books into the Harry Potter series, which is slowly turning me into even more of a geek than I was previously. Hippogryphs? Unicorns? Basilisks? Swoon! It doesn’t help that one of our good friends Nelson is staying with us currently, and so Jacob and Nelson have covered my new office in Magic cards (thats Magic: The Gathering, not enchanted cards, not nearly as cool as it sounds) and we also found a role playing game circa 1980 called ‘Top Secret‘ where you pretend to be a secret agent a la James Bond.

Wait where are you going? Ok, ok, enough with the nerd-talk.

So, one cool, hip thing I did this weekend was go out to dinner at Night Light with the lovely Kiala and the dashing Dane and the magnificent Meagn (Sorry Kiala, I couldn’t think of a ‘k’ word for beautiful) and then we went to Chopsticks and watched people sing karaoke. It was my first time at a karaoke bar and I was all prepped to sing Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 when some other broad got to it before me. But thats ok because Kiala and I danced to 9 to 5 and I was probably too drunk to remember the words anyway. Thats right, internet. I had FOUR gin and tonics which is a lot for me, trust me. I then left Chopsticks and made Jacob pick me up and bring me back to a friends house. And then I announced to the room that I could out smoke the shit out of everyone out drink the shit out of everyone and passed out on my friend’s couch.   And I felt fine the next day. But then on Monday I had some sort of evil, delayed hangover from Saturday and wanted to die. Has that ever happened to you? It was so unfair.

Oh, and I work at a newspaper that covers a lot of ‘green’ building and ‘green’ architecture and ‘green streets’ and green, green, green green. Could someone PLEASE come up with another way to say ‘green’ or ‘sustainable’ before I throw myself off of an Eco-roof? Suggestions can be left in the comments.

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Geeking out

August 20, 2008 at 11:04 pm (Geeking out, Harry Potter, Movies, unhealthy obessions, why Jacob didn't have sex with me last night)

So I am pretty much the LAST person on earth who hasn’t read the Harry Potter series. I’ll admit, I thought I was above it. After all, I’ve been reading Literature since I was old enough to reach the adult shelves at the library and I majored in English at a University and it was all very Postmodernish and Romantical and full of woolen scarves and ascot sweaters and Keats. Those are real terms, by the way. I know. I have a degree. And I make $12 an hour.

Anyway, I finally gave in when my boss, in an unusual act of kindness, lent me the first two books when I said I hadn’t read them. I wasn’t expecting much; I’ve never liked fantasy unless it had to do with flesh eating zombies, vengeful ghosts or dystopic future worlds where people eat their food in pill form.

But, my god. I am IN LOVE with these books. First off, the setting is incredible: a magical wizard school with monsters roaming its halls, secret passageways, magic mirrors and an evil cat stalking the halls looking for wrong-doing students. Secondly, the text is not dumbed down too much to make it suitable for kids. I even caught a masturbation joke in the second book and everyone talks in these cute English accents. Thirdly, the books incorporate all sorts of mythic history, which makes my middle-school heart sing.

However, since I have been so engaged and perhaps unhealthily fixated on these books, the following has happened:

1. I was at Whole Paycheck buying a slice of cheese (they sell them that way so poor people like me can sample the Gruyere) to eat with some crackers and a cup o’ noodles I brought for lunch, because I am very classy. When I got to the check stand, I had to fish my debit card out and in the process, pulled both my cup o’ noodle and my Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone out and slapped them on the counter while I plumbed the depths of my bag. Seizing upon my debit card, I emerged victoriously from my bag to find the two snide but cute Eastside boys (who were identifiable by their little biker caps and pube-ish facial hair) laughing at my children’s novel and 10 cent lunch. I paid for my cheese bits and left red-faced.

2. A 15-year-old boy nearly fell into my lap on the bus trying to read The Chamber of Secrets over my shoulder, though by the looks of his WOW t-shirt, I knew he must have read it before. I couldn’t really blame him; I’d have done the same thing.

3. I was at a particularly dull work meeting and was doodling little wizard pictures of Harry, Hermione and Ron when my co-worker noticed and asked what they were. I mumbled something about research for an in-depth literary essay on JK Rowling and shuffled my papers and tried to look busy and important while avoiding eye contact with everyone for the rest of the day.

4. I actually hung up on Jacob so I could finish the last ten pages of The Chamber of Secrets.

Now I’m on the third book. Hopefully next time you see me I won’t be firebombing Warner Brothers Studios in a Dumbledore outfit for pushing the release date for ‘The Half Blood Prince’ from this fall to next summer. (But seriously, WHY GOD WHY?)

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