Halloween

October 31, 2008 at 10:25 pm (cats, Geeking out, Scary movies)

Tonight’s Halloween and I will be hitting the streets in a  Jane Jetson costumes I made. I’m really excited because I haven’t dressed up in two years because of general college-age related laziness.

I was thinking about all the costumes I’ve worn over the years, and I thought I’d list them here.

Age 3: The toothfairy. I think this was the first time I dressed up. I was really into the idea of someone putting money under my pillow.

Age 4: Shere Khan from the Jungle Book, the big bad tiger. He was my favorite character because he made such a good villain. Also, I was a weird little kid.

Age 5: A black cat. My mom went as a gray mouse. We were pretty adorable.

Age 6: The Little Mermaid, complete with real sea-shell bra. Okay perverts, I was wearing a nude colored body suit too. I couldn’t walk very well in this one. I specifically remember eating it in front of some big scary middle schoolers.

Age 7-8: Belle from Beauty and the Beast. My yellow ballgown OWNED. I can still recite that movie word for word. I was Belle two years in a row because the next Disney move to come out, Aladdin, featured Jasmine and I thought her outfit looked freezing.

Age 9: Vampiress. The fake blood capsules I buy from the Halloween store not only taste like shit, but stain my teeth for several days afterwards.

Age 10: Witch.

Age 11: No idea. I think this might have been the year we went camping. I was pissed.

Age 12: Old school movie star. I wore one of my grandma’s vintage dresses. This was the first year I got turned away from a house for looking too old. We went back later and TPd the house.

Age 13: Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom. This costume doubled as a book report project on the Odyssey. I got an A.

Age 14: Heather Graham in The Spy Who Shagged Me. Blond wig, pink tube top, blue eyeshadow. Bad, very bad.

Age 15: Renaissance knave. Spent two hours trying to achieve that medieval cleavage, to no avail.

Age 16: Fairy. At this point a “costume” meant fairy wings and a tube top. I was a very classy teenager.

Age 17: Something my mother wouldn’t have approved of, probably involving a tube top.

Age 18: Twiggy. My first college Halloween. My date, Tinkerbell gets totally sauced on vodka cokes and we go home at 9 p.m. Tink, you know who you are!

Age 19: Holly Golightly. Went to a party in Seattle where every drunk person on the street saw me, pointed and said “You’re that one chick! From that movie!.” I have a very real Holly G moment when I ride the ferry back in my evening dress and tiara.

Age 20: Possessed baby doll. Yellow dress with a string and ring on the back to appear like a talking doll. I end up looking really creepy (and drunk) in my pictures due to too much wine.

What was your favorite costume?

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This is why I don’t garden

October 24, 2008 at 6:48 pm (environmental blah blah, Movies, Scary movies)

Hey! Remember that one time when I started this blog and I said to myself, “Self, we are going to write  witty, intelligent things about horror movies and books because we love them and we are going to do it every day because thats what writers do,” and then, you know, I didn’t. But, today I will because I recently saw maybe the grossest movie I’ve ever seen. Its about plants. Evil ones.

The Ruins stars Jena Malone, the chick from Donnie Darko who my boyfriend has a major crush on and I don’t understand why because I AM THE ONLY GIRL HE FINDS ATTRACTIVE, so as soon as this thing started I kept shouting “That bitch from Donnie Darko is gonna die!” Not that I’m jealous or anything. Anywho, Jena and some other attractive twenty-somethings are in Mexico getting their drink on when they meet this German guy who invites them to check out some secret ruins. So the kids down some more Cabo Wabo tequila and head out to get some “culture.” And they go to the ruins, and things are totally bitchin until these natives come out of the jungle and start pointing guns at them. Of course, no one speaks the language, and after one of their buds get SHOT IN THE CHEST, the kids retreat onto the ruins, to regroup and plan how the hell they will get out of there.

Now it gets weird. There’s a whole lot of this one kind of vine on these ruins. And like any good survivor, everyone starts touching the vines. Which proceed to give everyone a wicked, painful rash. They also hear the dead guys cell phone ringing from within the ruins, so they decide to go and investigate. After one person paralyzes himself falling down the shaft, another girl and then another is sent down to investigate and get the phone.

But its not the phone ringing. Its the plant. Its mimicing the ring of a phone to lure them down there, into the dark. And when she reaches out to touch it, the vine grabs her hand. It dawns on the group that the villagers didn’t want to take them hostage, they were quarantining them because they had touched the plant.

I don’t want to ruin anything for you, but I didn’t open my eyes during the second half of this thing because it was so gross. And it really makes me think twice when I walk past creeping vines on my way to work in the morning. When the fog is right, and the wind is chilled, I can almost hear them rustling, waiting.

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Watching under the influence (of Nyquil)

August 12, 2008 at 5:31 am (Scary movies) (, , )

So I was sick last week. I  borrowed a pile of DVDs from my neighbor and tore through them all except Cursed starring Christina Ricci and that cute guy from Dawson’s Creek. Not that I watched Dawson’s Creek. Ever.

Anyway, Cursed is about this PR minion (Christina Ricci) who’s dating this super-cool club promoter guy (Pacey from Dawson’s Creek) when a werewolf is let loose upon the city of Los Angeles. PR lady and her little bro hit some kind of animal while on their way home one night, causing them to slam into another car. When they attempt to rescue the other driver, the animal, which resembles a giant wolf, drags the passenger into the forest, biting PR lady and her bro en route.

This is where things start to get blurry. Basically, everyone in the movie starts becoming a werewolf somehow and people are all hairy and horny and eating raw meat and things. Then its a guessing game as to which werewolf is the ultimate supreme werewolf that if killed, will release the other folks from their werewolfdom. In the spirit of not ruining the ending, I will offer a list of potential candidates:

1. Pacey from Dawson’s Creek

2.  Portia de Rossi (playing a psychic)

3. Shannon Elizabeth

4. That guy from Heroes who’s dating the cheerleader in real life

5. Scott Baio

6. Kitty from Arrested Development

7.  Craig Kilborn

8. Mya

I’ll give you a hint. Its not who you hope it is. This movie is awful.

To end on a positive note, I leave you with a clip from a much better werewolf movie, The Howling. Did I mention this is really gross? Seriously. I just threw up a little in my mouth when I thought about it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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